|The Hipster Inside Me (Charlie McDonnell)|
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Charlie McDonnell has had new glasses for some time... but now that makes him think. Are the glasses trying to say something about him?
If there’s one thing we can all agree on, is that everybody hates hipsters, right? You know, it’s the common enemy that we all have, that will unite us, that will remove all race and gender boundaries, and we will say, we are humanity, like Independence Day, and we will fight against the hipsters. Even the hipsters themselves, who apparently don’t even know that they are hipsters, will also hate hipsters. Everybody is against the same thing and it’s kind of... it’s kind of beautiful, in a way.
So you can imagine the horror that you would experience if you started noticing some of these hipster-like tendencies appearing in your life. That’s, my friends, if I can still call you friends after this, is what I’m suffering from right now.
I think the biggest and most telly example from me was when I bought those glasses. I mean, just look at... agh, just look at that, to be wearing the glasses, the actual Ray Ban Wayfarers that you put on something to turn it into a hipster, this is... that’s how you turn Ariel into hipster Ariel, by putting these on.
And yet I am not gonna do anything about it. That’s like these were expensive glasses and I think I look good in them. And I- burrrgh, this is-this is when this worry started for me, (it) was when I was sitting in like a trendy warehouse-type coffee bar looking around me and thinking, huh! There’s a hipster there. Oh, there’s ano-there’s a-one that, look at his funny moustache, oh th-there’s a- everyone is a hipster here. Why am I here?
So my interpretation of the-the hipster-like personality constitutes (a) couple of things. First off, you like things ironically. That, I think, I can comfortably say is something that I don’t do. I have my things that I like a lot, and I like, maybe even to some people too much, but I don’t care, cause I like ‘em. That, to me, is an urge.
But then, there’s the whole..., you know, you know that thing that everybody likes, now I don’t like it, but when nobody liked it that’s when I was a big fan. Oh, aren’t I cool! That’s the thing I think that we all centre on its being like, urrgh, hipsters, what rubbish people.
But I have to be honest with myself and think, have I ev- have I ever been that person? Have I ever been in this situation where I’m like, “oh, I liked that thing before everybody else did, doesn’t that make me cool?”? And, honestly, I have. I feel like as much as I can try to-to point out and justify the things about me that-that aren’t hipst-oresque, and be like, no, hipsters are like this and I don’t do that sort of thing, there is a nugget in my heart that is enjoying things ironically.
There was definitely a sense of comfort that I get when I...I’m in a warehouse that’s been converted into a coffee shop surrounded by lots of trendy-looking people. I feel at home in that of- the- they’re cosy, they-they do a good job decorating.
I think if there is a moral to be found here, I don’t wanna find it, because the moral is that I think there’s probably... there’s +++, this will be more comfortable, there’s +++ a little bit of hipster in all of us. Or... there is a little bit of hipster in me specifically, and I am a hipster but I don’t wanna have to deal with that and the consequences of being that person.
I could, at least, be the first person who... well, actually admits that they are a bit of a hipster... as opposed to all of the other hipsters that don’t want to admit it. There we go, that’s how I can feel superior.
Alright, Charlie out.
You’ve just had the almost imponderable joy of watching charlieissocoollike, which makes you like cool.
HIPSTERS= Young people around 18-30 who try to lead an alternative lifestyle, dress as trendy as possible (but not mainstream) who loves indie rock bands or any other kind of thing as long as most people don't like it. Their highest desire is to feel different and exclusive, which makes them feel superior to the rest of vulgar normal mainstream people.
YOU KNOW= It means nothing, but it is very commonly used in conversation as a way to fill the gaps and have some extra second to think without stopping.
BOUNDARIES= Limits; frontiers.
INDEPENDENCE DAY= A movie where all humanity had to fight together against an alien invasion.
APPARENTLY= It appears like...
NOTICING= Knowing through observation.
HIPSTER-LIKE= Having the appearance of a hipster; related to hipsters.
RIGHT NOW= At this very moment (we can use RIGHT to emphasize place and time: right here, right now)
TELLY= I'm not sure that's exactly what he says, but if he says that, it means "which tells" (not a standard word anyway).
RAY BAN WAYFARERS= no comments, just see here, or look at Charlie's glasses on the video.
HIPSTER ARIEL= Ariel is a Disney character from The Little Mermaid. For some reason, it is common at present to put Wayfarers on her to make her look hipster and then criticize how horrible she looks in that. See her here. Although some other people think she looks really cool (hipsters, I guess)
GONNA= (coll.) Going to.
WAREHOUSE= A building with no rooms inside, just a big space for storing things (see picture). WAREHOUSE-TYPE COFFEE BAR means "a coffee bar which is that type of bar made from a warehouse", so they took a warehouse and transformed it into a coffee bar, which today is quite fashionable, especially in big cities.
MOUSTACHE= /məstæʃ/ hair growing on your upper-lip (see picture)
FIRST OFF= To begin with, First of all.
YOU LIKE THINGS IRONICALLY= Charlie is not using the word "ironically" in a correct way, but it is not rare to find people misusing the word "ironic". What he means here, I think, is that hipsters like improbable things, that is, things that most people don't like. In fact, something "ironical" is something sarcastic or something which presents a very big contrast between what you expect and what you find (e.g. After years alone, she decided to look for a boyfriend on the Internet and, ironically, she met there a boy who lived next door).
FAN= (short for "fanatic"). If you are a big fan of something, you like it very very much.
AREN'T I COOL!= It is common in colloquial English (esp. AmE) to make exclamations with the same structure as a negative question:
- Aren't I cool!= I am so cool! (we don't say "amn't I?", but "aren't I?" or "am I not?")
- Isn't it hot!= It's so hot! How hot it is!
- Aren't they a happy couple!= They are such a happy couple!
- Can't she dance!= She dances so well!
RUBBISH= Stupid, with no value.
COOL= Wonderful, modern.
HIPST-ORESQUE= Having a hipster quality (a word Charlie just invented based on the word "picturesque"). It is not uncommon to invent a non-existent adjective by adding "-esque" to a noun, with or without a hyphen:
- He played the music and an Elvis-esque singer began to sing. (= a singer who sounds like Elvis Presley)
NUGGET= A small solid lump, especially of gold, like a little stone. The expression "a nugget in my heart" usually refers to "a very special part of me".
COSY= /kəʊzɪ/ Comfortable and home-like.
A MORAL= A moral lesson.
WANNA= (coll.) Want to.
DEAL WITH= To worry about something and/or do something to solve the problem.
A BIT OF A= (coll.) A little...
THERE WE GO= Ok, problem solved.