A hilarious beer commercial (sorry for the publicity)

- Hello?
- What was that?
- What?
- Are you in a bar? I thought you were too sick to come to my cousin’s wedding?
- Uh no, honey, that’s just the TV.

- And now, back to Jim in the newsroom.
- According to the Turkish prime minister, the economic situation there...
- The Maxi Mixers are going fast. How about a demo, Phil?
- Look at those blades go, Trish!
- He shoots, he scores!
- Work those gluts, people! Ten more, here we go! And one, and two...
- It’s par four. There’s a slight wind... Oh, a magnificent shot!
- Flame bow and plumage attracts the female of the species...
- Honey, what’s that smell?
- Timmy tried to cook a turkey in the dishwasher!
- Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

- Uh-hem...uh, looks like nothing’s on.
- Well, try and get some rest, alright?
- Okay.
- Bye.

They have a little "Captain" in them. Got a little "Captain" in you? Drink responsibly.

YOU WERE TOO SICK= The word SICK is used differently in BrE and AmE depending on its position in the sentence: before the noun or after the verb To Be:
- A sick person = BrE: an ill person / AmE: an ill person.
- I was sick yesterday = BrE: I vomited / AmE: I was ill.
So in England you can say "I was sick three times on the train", but in America that sentence would be nonsense.
On this video it means "ill" (AmE).

COUSIN= /kʌzɪn/

HONEY= /hʌnɪ/ A loving way to call a person you love (lover, wife, son/daughter, etc.) = dear, sweetheart.

NEWSROOM= An office in which news is processed by a newspaper or news agency or television or radio station. But here they probably refer to the television studio where the news are being broadcasted. (remember that NEWS is an uncountable word, so the verb is singular: "no news is good news")

PRIME MINISTER= (Sometimes called "the Premier") It is the head of the government, usually in a parliamentary system. In general, we use the title "prime minister" for countries where the monarch (king or queen) or the president is the head of state. For example, in Spain or the UK, the monarch is the head of state and the prime minister is head of the government; in France or Turkey the president is the head of state and the prime minister is the head of the government. This contrasts with most republics, like the USA, where the president is both head of state and head of the government and so, there’s no prime minister. Sometimes you can hear things like "the president of Spain", but that’s incorrect, since Spain is a monarchy and has no president, but it is a direct translation from Spanish, where the prime minister is called "el presidente".

MAXI MIXERS= A mixer, or a food mixer, is a tool to mix food into a liquid (see picture here). A "maxi mixer" may probably refer to a superfast or extra-large food mixer. I think it's used here as a brand name.

HOW ABOUT A DEMO?= Let’s have a demonstration of it. We can use the phrase "how about...?" or "what about...?" for suggestions (+ -ing):
- What about going to the cinema tonight?
- No, I have no money. How about staying at home and watching a DVD instead?
- Ok, let’s.

BLADES= A blade is the flat cutting part of a sharpened weapon or tool. Here they’re referring to a sport (he scores!), so the blades are referring to the sliding part of ice-skates (see picture here), and the sport is ice hockey (see picture here).

HE SHOOTS, HE SCORES!= To shoot the ball is to propel it so that it moves forwards fast (especially when you’re trying to score). To score is to send the ball into the goal, so that your team gets one point (or more, depending on the sport).

GLUTS= A colloquial way to refer to "gluteus", the muscles in your buttocks. Your buttocks are the two fleshy parts that make up your bottom.

HERE WE GO!= An expression people say when they’re going to do something (yes, we say WE, not usually "here I go!") or when they’re asking people to do something, similar to "come on!".

IT’S PAR FOUR= The word PAR is the number of golf strokes considered necessary to complete a hole or course in expert play.

SLIGHT= feeble, weak, small. A light wind is a very soft breeze.

MAGNIFICENT= Wonderful, gorgeous, smashing, amazing, superb.

FLAME BOW AND= Sorry, I just made it up, not sure what they say.

PLUMAGE= The feathers of a bird (from Latin "pluma" = feather).

SPECIES= A species is a kind of animals that can interbreed (= have "babies" together). This word can be singular or plural (one species, two species) and the pronunciation is /spi:ʃi:z/ .

DISHWASHER= A machine to wash dishes.

LOOKS LIKE NOTHING’S ON= Apparently, there’s nothing (interesting) on television. Notice the preposition ON. We use the expression "to be on" when talking about TV or the cinema:
- What’s on at 9 pm? – Oh, just the news, I think.
- I’ve been to the cinema. – Really? Anything nice on? – Not much.

TRY AND GET SOME REST= To get some rest is to rest (he’s supposed to be ill and needs to recover). We can also say "try to get some rest", but with the verb TRY we often prefer the construction with AND.