A crazy excerpt from the comical TV series "The Big Bang Theory", seson 5 episode 17.

I got you a little something.
A little something? Oh, it...
Oh, this is huge.
What's huge is what you've done for me.

No, no, before I met you, I was a mousy wallflower. But look at me now. I'm like some kind of downtown hipster party girl. With a posse, a boyfriend and a new lace bra that hooks in the front, of all things. Open it. Open it.
Okay.
I wanted to get you something you didn't have.
Wow! I... I don't know what to s-... Wow.
Do you like it?
Do I like it? Wow.
So, uh, where are you gonna hang it?
Oh, my God. Hang it. Wow. Um, you know, I'd have to go get a hook and nails and a hammer and...
No problem.
Oh, look.  You got... You just... you got it all right there. Wow.

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Scene: A bathroom at the university.

Sheldon: I found him. He’s in the bathroom. President Siebert?

Siebert: Can’t this wait?

Sheldon: I’m sorry. We just need a word.

Siebert: Now? You realize I’m your boss, and I am holding my penis?

Kripke: Sheldon, give the man some pwivacy. I’m sowwy. This guy’s got no wespect for boundawies.

Siebert: What do you want?

Kripke: Will you tell this wunatic that Pwofessor Wothman’s office is wightfully mine?

Siebert: Can’t you take this up with your department chairman?

Sheldon: We tried. His assistant said he was on sabbatical. Although we distinctly heard his office window open and shut.

Siebert: Gentlemen, there’s a task I’m trying to accomplish here, and I’m having trouble doing it.

Sheldon: Oh, my. President Siebert, I don’t mean to be an alarmist, but difficulty initiating a urine stream could be a symptom of benign prostatic hyperplasia. If you’re interested, I can send you a link to a YouTube video that’ll show you how to perform your own rectal exam. Yeah, uh, helpful hint, trim your nails first.

Kripke: Ignore him, Pwesident Siebert. I’m sure a young man such as yourself has a perfectwy healthy pwostate.

Sheldon: Oh, he’s just trying to butter you up. And for the record, butter is an excellent lubricant for your rectal exam.

Siebert: Gentlemen, I’m going to allow the two of you to work this out because A, you’re both brilliant scientists, and B, as far as who gets Rothman’s office, I couldn’t give the furry crack of a rat’s behind.

Kripke: Well, as wong as we’re here, I might as well take a weak.

Sheldon: Kripke?

Kripke: Yes?

Sheldon: You’re in my spot.

Scene: Penny’s apartment.

Bernadette: That is big.

Penny: So big.

Bernadette: And ugly.

Penny: So ugly. What am I gonna do?

Bernadette: I don’t know. You can’t take it down. You’ll break her heart. Look at that face. That enormous, unsettling, crazy face.

Penny: Is there any chance I’ll learn to love it?

Bernadette: That depends. Do you like pictures of yourself where you look like a man?

Penny: All right, it’s got to go.

Bernadette: What will you tell Amy?

Penny: How about I tell her the painting makes you feel jealous because you’re not in it?

Bernadette: Nuh-uh. What if she gets me one? I already have a picture of me and Howard’s mom getting our hair cornrowed in Venice Beach. I’ve suffered enough.

Penny: Well, I guess I could take it down and put it up when she comes over, but it’s kind of heavy.

Bernadette: Mmm, too bad you’re not as strong as the dude in the painting.

Scene: The apartment.

Raj: Would you look at this? I paid twenty five dollars to some kid on eBay for a handcrafted Harry

A LITTLE SOMETHING= A thing which is not very important.
We use this expression to create expectation in a humble way, as if that thing we’re referring to is not something important (but we probably think it is important anyway).

HUGE= Very big, enormous.

MOUSY= Similar to a mouse, especially in one or more of these respects:
- having a pale, brown colour (mousy hair, etc)
- having small sharp features (mousy face, etc)
- being timid, shy or quiet (mousy boy)

WALLFLOWER= A wallflower is a shy or boring person who doesn’t usually take part in social events or, when they do, are mostly unnoticed and unpopular.

DOWNTOWN (AmE) = City centre (BrE)

HIPSTER= (col.) This word was used for a kind of hippie-like liberal young person who rebels against the establishment. But in this conversation she means a more modern use of the word, which basically refers to a young modern person who is fashionable and trendy and cool ;)

PARTY GIRL= A girl who loves going to parties and is very popular.

POSSE= /pɒsi:/ (AmE slang) A group of friends or people who go with you and share your activities (in this case, partying). Originally, this word referred to the group of men who assisted the sherif.

LACE= (see picture)

BRA= /brɑ:/ Short for “brassiere” (nobody says “brassiere” anymore), a peace of lingerie used by women to support her breasts (see picture, of the bra).

OF ALL THINGS= We use this phrase to express that what we said is surprising or shocking because it was very improbable or unexpected.
- For my birthday, he bought me a pig, of all things! = this may express that she really loved her present or that she really disliked it and thought it stupid. The idea is that he had a great variety of options to choose from, and from all the things he could have bought, he chose the pig, which was a good or bad surprise for her.
- So it was you who told everybody my secret! Oh Kevin, of all the people, you! = In this case, the similar expression “of all the people” has the same meaning, it expresses that she was shocked at finding out that it was Kevin who betrayed her, her friend, the least probable person.
- We were having all the house painted when his parents showed up for the weekend, of all the days! = She means that her parents-in-law chose the worst time possible to come to visit, so it was a very negative surprise.
(Of course, the use of this expression here is comical, since wearing a bra that hooks in the front is not really a shocking thing to do)

GONNA= (col.) Going to.