I don't like fish (Tales of mere existence)
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My mum simply can't understand that I don't like fish!


So the last time I was home visiting my parents I was hanging around in the kitchen with my mum and she said, "I just made some fish, would you like some fish?" and I said, "no thanks, mum, I don’t like fish". And she said, "you don’t like fish?" And I said, "no mum, I don’t like fish". And she said, "this is tuna fish", and I said, "I know mum, but I don’t like fish". And she said, "I’ll make some chopped celery in there so there’s a little crunch to it", and I said, "no thanks mum, I don’t like fish".

And she said, "you know, fish is really healthy", and I said, "I know mum, but I don’t like it". And she said, "all the healthiest people eat fish", and I said, "I know mum". And she said, "in fact I think the healthiest people eat more fish than they do beef or chicken", and I said, "I know mum, but I don’t like fish". And she said, "I’m not saying that people should just eat fish, fish, fish all the time, because if you overdo it you can get too much mercury", and I said, "I know mum, but I don’t really worry about that because I don’t eat fish". And she said, "but getting high mercury levels is really rare. In general all the healthiest cultures in the world eat a lot of fish", and I said, "I know, mum".

And she said "have you ever been tested for mercury?" and I said, "I haven’t been worrying about it, mum, because I don’t eat fish". She said, "mercury isn’t only in fish", and I said, "yes, I know mum, but people mostly get it from fish, so I’m not really worried about it because I don’t eat fish". And she said, "no fish at all?", and I said, "no, mum". "Not even tuna fish?"; "no, mum". "Have you ever tried it with chopped celery?"; "no, mum". And she said, "how would you know you wouldn’t like it if you haven’t even tried it?", and I said, "mum, I really don’t like fish". She said, "just try it", so I did.

And she said, "did you like it?", and I said, "not really, mum, I don’t like fish". She said, "maybe it’s the tuna, have you tried salmon?"; "no, mum". She said, "alright, you probably shouldn’t have too much to eat right now, anyway, because we gotta go to a restaurant in a little while", I said, "ok mum, I’ll be ready".

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And she said, "are you just wearing that?", and I said, "yes, mum, it’s not that cold outside". She said, "you might want to bring a sweater", and I said, "I don’t really think I need one, mum". She said, "I’m gonna bring one, you may wanna bring one too", and I said, "I’ve already been outside today, mum, and it’s not that cold". And she said, "alright, alright, it might get colder later and you’ll be freezing but do what you want".

So, anyway, we went to the restaurant but it was full and we couldn’t get a table. We were trying to figure out where to go next till my mum suggested a seafood restaurant.


colloquial expressions often used when talking, esp. AmE:
you wanna do it= you want to do it
you gotta do it= you (have) got to do it
you gonna do it= you're going to do it

SALMON is pronounced without the L

The healthiest people in the world= notice the ending -EST and the article (healthy→ the healthiest). If we say that something is the most in a place or a group we use the preposition IN, not OF (in the world)
For adjectives of two syllables not ending in -Y (as "healthy") or for longer adjectives, we use this other construction: "He is the most intelligent student in class".

A pronoun substitutes for a noun, and a proverb substitutes for a verb. In English, the proverb is usually DO, and we often use it so as not to repeat a verb again
pronoun: I want a red shirt, or maybe a blue ONE (one= shirt)
proverb: the healthiest people eat more fish than they DO beef or chicken (do = eat)

We use AT ALL with negatives and interrogatives to emphasize: I don't like it at all. Have you seen anything at all?

The verbal prefix OVER- means that the action happens in excess
overdo it = do it in excess
overheat it = heat it too much
overtax = tax in excess
this product is overpriced = it's too expensive

if you're tested for something at the doctor's, you get analysed to find out about your health (to test = to examine)

FREEZING = very very cold

SEAFOOD = (look it up in the dictionary if you don't know this word)