The Barenaked Ladies (often abbreviated BNL) is a Canadian alternative rock band. They are well-known for their light-hearted, comedic performance style. This song is an icon of Canadian culture.

If I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
Well I’d buy you a house (I would buy you a house)
And if I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
I’d buy you furniture for your house (maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman)
And if I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
Well, I’d buy you a K-Car (a nice reliant automobile)
And if I had a million dollars, I’d buy your love

If I had a million dollars I’d build a tree-fort in our yard
If I had a million dollars you could help, it wouldn’t be that hard
If I had a million dollars maybe we could put a little tiny fridge in there somewhere.
“You know, we could just go up there and hang out.”
“Like open the fridge and stuff, and there’d all be foods laid out for us like little pre-wrapped sausages and things. They have pre-wrapped sausages but they don’t have pre-wrapped bacon.”
“Well can you blame them?”
“Yeah.”

If I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
Well, I’d buy you a fur coat (but not a real fur coat, that’s cruel)
And if I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
Well, I’d buy you an exotic pet (yep, like a llama or an emu)
And if I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
Well, I’d buy you John Merrick’s remains (all them crazy elephant bones)
And if I had a million dollars I’d buy your love

If I had a million dollars we wouldn’t have to walk to the store
If I had a million dollars we’d take a limousine ’cause it costs more
If I had a million dollars we wouldn’t have to eat Kraft dinner
“But we would eat Kraft dinner.”
“Of course we would, we’d just eat more.”
“And buy really expensive ketchups with it.”
“That’s right, all the fanciest Dijon ketchups.”

If I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
Well, I’d buy you a green dress (but not a real green dress that’s cruel)
And if I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
Well, I’d buy you some art (A Picasso or a Garfunkel)
If I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
Well, I’d buy you a monkey (haven’t you always wanted a monkey?!)
And if I had a million dollars I’d buy your love

If I had a million dollars; if I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars; if I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars… I’d be rich!

Kraft Dinner, also known as KD or Kraft Macaroni and Cheese Dinner, is a prepackaged, boxed type of macaroni and cheese that requires minimal preparation by the consumer.

The term chesterfield is a North American term equivalent to couch or sofa. The use of the term 'chesterfield' has been found to be widespread among older Canadians, but is quickly vanishing from Canadian English. In the United Kingdom it refers to a particular style of sofa featuring a low rolled back and deep buttoning.

An ottoman is a piece of furniture consisting of a padded, upholstered seat or bench having neither back nor arms, often used as a stool or footstool, or in some cases as an improvised coffee table. An ottoman can also be known as a footstool, tuffet, hassock or pouffe.

The Plymouth Reliant (or Reliant K) was manufactured by the Chrysler Corporation. Though technically a compact car, the Reliant's had a spacious interior and could accommodate six-passengers.

Joseph Carey Merrick (5 August 1862 - 11 April 1890) was
an Englishman who became known as "The Elephant Man" because of his physical appearance caused by a congenital disorder. A number of sources incorrectly give his name as John Merrick. In the 80s there were rumours that Michael Jackson offered a lot of money for Elephant Man's bones.

This Barenaked Ladies song covers everything from the Elephant man to those little fancy ketchups - what else are you going to do with a million dollars, anyway? Buy some love! Or a green dress (but not a real green dress, that's cruel). Haven't you always wanted a monkey?