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Teddy Picker (Arctic Monkeys)
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Song by Arctic Monkeys, 2007

Despair to the point till they provoke
The punchline before they have told the joke
The sheer desperation to be seen
Staring at the television screen

Despair to the point where they provoke
You to tell the ++++ punchline before you have told the joke
Sorry sunshine it doesn't exist
It wasn't in the top 100 list

And it's the thousandth time and it's even bolder,
Don't be surprised when you get bent over,
He told ya, that you were gagging for it

She saw it and she grabbed it and it wasn't what it seemed
The kids all dream of making it, whatever that means
Another variation on a theme
A tangle on the television and the magazine
D'you reckon that they do it for a joke?
D'you reckon that they make 'em take an oath?
That says "we are defenders
Of any poseur or professional pretender around"

When did your list replace the twist and turn?
Ah the fist, replaced the kissed-on concern
And if you're bothered, I don't want your prayers
Save it for the morning after

And it's the thousandth time and it's even bolder,
Don't be surprised when you get bent over,
He told ya, that you were gagging for it

Lets have a game on the Teddy Picker
Not quick enough can I have it quicker?
Already thick and you're getting thicker
Lets have a game on the Teddy Picker
Not quick enough can I have it quicker?
Already thick and you're getting thicker

Asuming that all things are equal,
Who'd want to be men of the people
When there's people like you?

The song refers to the popularity of celebrities. A 'teddy picker' is Northern slang for a crane machine, a popular machine at carnivals where prizes, particularly stuffed animals, are picked by a mechanical crane. The song equates a person getting noticed as a celebrity with a prize being picked up by a crane-a result of luck. The song expresses annoyance with people who are so desperate to be famous that they do over-the-top things to get attention, such as participate in reality shows. Such occurrences of reality show 'stars' being treated as real celebrities are especially prevalent in the UK, the home of Arctic Monkeys, where the show Big Brother has spawned such national icons as Jade Goody. The line "don't be surprised when you get bent over" refers to the number of celebrities or media darlings that are tricked or persuaded by the industry to continue their attention seeking by promises of fame or money.

(extracted from Wikipedia)

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