- Argh-argh-argh-argh...
  Hello! Something scary happening.
  Argh-argh-arghrrr
- Hey, poindexter, it's Halloween. Put the book away!
- For your information, I'm about to read you a classic tale of terror by Edgar Allan Poe.
- Wait a minute. That's a schoolbook.
- Don't worry bright, you won't learn anything. It's called, The Raven.

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
"'Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door;
Only this, and nothing more."

-Are we scared yet?
-Bart, he"s establishing mood.

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow - sorrow for the lost Lenore
- Oh Lenore!
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore
Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me, filled me with fantastic terrors never thought before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
"'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door,
This it is, and nothing more."

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
"Sir," said I, "or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you", here I opened wide the door;
- This better be good.
Darkness there, and nothing more.

- You know what would have been scarier than nothing?
- What?
- Anything!

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
"Surely," said I, "surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore.
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door -
Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door -
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

"Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou," I said, "art sure no craven.
Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the nightly shore -
Tell me, tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night"s Plutonian shore!"
Quoth the raven,
- Eat my shorts!
- Bart, stop it! He says, "Nevermore." And that's all he'll ever say.
- Okay. Okay.

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed by some unseen censer
- Oh, stupid censer!
Swung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.
"Wretch," I cried, "thy God hath lent thee by these angels he has sent thee
Respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore!
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost Lenore!"
Quoth the raven,
- "Nevermore."

D'Oh!
"Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!" I shrieked upstarting -
"Get thee back into the tempest and the Night"s Plutonian shore!
D'Oh! Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken! - quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!"
Quoth the raven,
- "Nevermore."

Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!"
Quoth the raven,
- "Nevermore."

- Why you little...
- Uh-uh
- Get out you argh... Come back here, you little raven!...
- Nevermore, nevermore Nevermore...

And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted - nevermore!

- Lisa, that wasn't scary. Not even for a poem.
- Well, it was written in 1845. Maybe people were easier to scare back then.
- Oh yea, like when you look at Friday the 13th Part I. It's pretty tame by today's standards.
- Children, bedtime!
- I guess I'll have no trouble getting to sleep tonight.