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Men's brains vs women's brains (Mark Gungor)
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A humorous explanation of how male and female brains are different.

We’re gonna start discussing men’s brains, women’s brains and how they’re very different from each other. Now I wanna start with men’s brains. Alright? Men’s brain are very unique, men’s brains are made up of little boxes and we have a box for everything. We have a box for the car. We got a box for the money. We got a box for the job, we got a box for you, we got a box for the kids, we got a box for your mother somewhere in the basement.

We got boxes everywhere, and the rule is: "the boxes don’t touch". When a man discusses a particular subject, we go to that particular box, we pull that box out, we open the box, we discuss only what is in that box, alright? and then we close the box and put it away being very, very careful not to touch any other boxes.

Now women’s brains are very, very different from men’s brains. Women's brains are made up of a big ball of wire, and every thing is connected to everything. The money’s connected to the car, the car’s connected to your job and the kids are connected to your mother, and everything’s connected to everything ....

It’s like the Internet super highway, Ok? And it’s all driven by energy that we call emotion. This is zzzzz. It’s one of the reasons why women tend to remember everything. Because if you take an event and you connect it to an emotion, it burns in your memory and you can remember it forever. The same thing happens for men, it just doesn't happen very often because, quite frankly, we don't care.

Women tend to care about everything! And she just loves it. Ok?

Now, men, we have a box in our brain that most women are not aware of. This particular box has nothing in it. It’s true, it’s true. In fact, we call it the "nothing box." And of all the boxes a man has in his brain, the nothing box is our favourite box! If a man has the chance, he’ll go to his nothing box every time. That's why a man can do something seemingly completely brain-dead for hours on end. You know, like fishing.

Now, they’ve actually measured this. The University of Pennsylvania, a couple of years ago, did a study, and discovered that men have the ability to think about absolutely nothing and still breathe. You know, they connected all the wires and stuff like that, marked the brain activity ..... Our brain is dead! Huh! Hang on.

Women can’t do it, they can’t do it, their minds never stop, and they don't understand the nothing box and it drives them crazy because nothing drives a woman more crazy or makes you feel more irritated than to witness a man doing nothing!

GONNA= (coll.) Going to.

DIFFERENT FROM EACH OTHER= If A is different from B and B is different from A (of course), A and B are different from each other. Remember that with "different" we use the preposition FROM (or also TO in BrE or sometimes THAN in AmE).

WANNA= (coll.) Want to.

UNIQUE= /ju:ni:k/ Peculiar, special. Something unique is different from any other thing.

MADE UP OF= If A is made up of X and Y, then X and Y are the different parts that produce A (e.g. "water is made up of oxygen and hydrogen")

MONEY= Pronounced /mʌnɪ/.

KIDS= (coll.) Children.

BASEMENT= The part of the house which is under the ground level. It is often used for storing things, not for living in, because there is no sunlight.

THE BOXES DON’T TOUCH= They are not connected, they are separated from each other.

PUT IT AWAY= Put it back in its usual place.

WIRE= A metallic strand or rod, especially the ones used to transport electricity (see picture here).

DRIVEN BY ENERGY= If something is driven by a particular energy, that energy is causing it to work.

EMOTION= The different between "emotion" and "feeling" is not very clear for normal people (although in psychology they have to make a distinct difference). Normal people often mix both, but usually, we use "emotion" to talk about a stronger deeper feeling, something that causes our behaviour to be different. A feeling may be less intense, and it may also be used for physical sensations.

TEND TO= If you tend to do something you often do it because you prefer to do it or are so much used to doing it.

FRANKLY= Honestly, sincerely (telling the truth). We use the expression ", quite frankly," when we want to admit that something is true, although maybe it is not the correct thing to say.

AWARE= If you are aware of something, you know that exists.

CHANCE= Opportunity.

SEEMINGLY= Apparently. If something is seemingly A, it looks like it is A (but it is not).

BRAIN-DEAD= This phrase is used as an adjective here, it means that the brain is not working. In a literal sense, we talk about "brain death" when a person dies and their brain stops producing electrical signals, so we can be certain that the person is really and totally dead and cannot be revived.

FOR HOURS ON END= For a very long time, for hours and hours.

LIKE FISHING= Such as fishing; for example, fishing. The word "like" here is a preposition, not a verb. Prepositions and conjunctions are always followed by –ING.

ACTUALLY= Really.

DID A STUDY= Made a research, investigated.

DISCOVERED= Pronounced /dɪskʌvəd/.

BREATHE= Pronounced /bri:ð/. The noun is BREATH, pronounced /breθ/.
- He's breathing slowly (/bri:ðɪŋ/)
- My breath is slow. My breath smells like mint.

HANG ON= Wait.

IT DRIVES THEM CRAZY= If something drives you crazy it makes you feel crazy or very stressed.

TO WITNESS= To see. If you witness something, you are there when it happened so you can talk about it. In a trial, a witness is there to report what they know, so the judge or the jury can decide if the suspect is guilty or innocent.

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