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Talking to the animals (Nathan Fielder) (Canada)
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Some people have an extraordinary gift, they can communicate with animals telepathically. TV reporter Nathan Fielder, in the programme "On your side", is going to put this gift to the test and gets an animal-communicator to talk to his cat.

On Your Side.
All the time we see people talking with other people. That's normal. But what we see less of is people talking with things that aren't people at all. Like animals. Having a conversation with an animal is the ultimate human fantasy. But to a gifted few this dream is a reality. They're called animal communicators, and they might be able to help you have a better relationship with your pet.

Rachelle Rodney is a Toronto based animal communicator who's been talking with animals for most of her life.

- What is an animal communicator?
- An animal communicator is a person who uses telepathy to communicate directly with animals or inter-species communication basically. From a distance. Mind-to-mind.
- I've a pet cat. Could you communicate with her?
- Of course. So, what's the cat's name?
- Cocoa Bean.
- Alright, so Cocoa Bean... Ok, so she's pretty laid back. She's very thoughtful, sensitive, but also very aware.
- Can you ask her why she's been peeing on my bed?
- Uhm, really? She says she's not. She just said she's not peeing on your bed. So...
- Well that's B.S. if she says that.
- Alright, well...
- Can you let her know that I'm pissed about it?
- Um , actually, in the way I do my work I'm non-confrontational. But she heard what you said and she flatly refuted that.
- Well can you ask her how she'd feel if I peed on her bed?
- She said, "Go ahead, I dare you." She'd love to see that. Yeah. 'Cause she also has a sense of humour.
- So, she thinks it's funny, huh?
- I find it funny too.
- If I peed in your bed?
- No, not my bed. Actually, I would too. I'm sure we all would. We'd all find it funny. We tend to find most, pretty well everything in life amusing.
- So you'd find it funny if I peed in your bed?
- Yeah, I would actually, yeah. Yeah, you'd probably hear me laughing and then I'd just get a new bed. That's all, no big deal.
- OK.
- Maybe it's time for a new bed. Hey, maybe that would been all be happening because it's time for a new bed.
- So you want me to pee in your bed?
- I'll leave it up to you. The ball's in your court. If you're serious.
- 'Cause I'll do it if it makes you happy.
- If you were to pee in my bed then you would be peeing in my bed and that would be that.

So, it looks like animal communicators are a good place to turn for help with your pet. Also, as a side note, we did end up paying for half of Rachelle's new mattress. I'm Nathan Fielder, On Your Side.

ON YOUR SIDE= This is the name of the programme but the phrase means: supporting you / trying to help you / caring about you.

TALKING WITH= (AmE) in British English we usually say "talking to".

AT ALL= We use this phrase to emphasize a negative or interrogative sentence.
- I don't like it at all!
- Do you need anything at all?
We can't use it in an affirmative sentence.
- I totally like it / I really like it

LIKE ANIMALS= For example, animals.

ULTIMATE= /ʌltɪmɪt/ The maximum.

GIFTED= A gifted person is a person with a gift. You have a gift when you were born with an extraordinary quality that most people don't posses. If you have a gift the piano, you can play the piano much better than most people.

A GIFTED FEW= A few people with a special gift.

PET= A animal you keep at home for company (usually cats and dogs, but any other animal can do, even snakes and crocodiles)

TORONTO BASED= Living in Toronto.
Notice that he doesn't pronounce the second T of Toronto because in AmE the T can be lost after an N.

TELEPATHY= The ability to communicate through a mental process without speaking, just by reading thoughts.

INTER-SPECIES= happening between two different animal species.

COCOA BEAN= The seed from the cocoa plant, used to make chocolate. It sounds like a rather stupid name for a cat.

PRETTY= (coll.) Quite, rather.

LAID BACK= Relaxed, casual.

THOUGHTFUL= Who cares about other people.

SENSITIVE= Very emotional.

AWARE= worried about other people's needs and conscious of the situation around him/her.

PEEING= To pee is to urinate. When you drink, the water is processed in your body and then you pee it out. This word is perfectly ok, but there is a rude version of it that you should avoid in normal situations: piss (this is very rude).

B.S.= Bullshit (a rude word, but not too rude). If you say that something somebody said is bullshit, you mean that it's a lie or it's really stupid. The word "bullshit" is a bit rude, so B.S. is more acceptable.

CAN YOU LET HER KNOW...= Can you tell her...

PISSED= (a rude word, colloquial) very angry.

NON-CONFRONTATIONAL= Without any conflict, peacefully.

SHE FLATLY REFUTED THAT= She said that's not true (FLATLY is used here to emphasize)

GO AHEAD= Come on, do it!

I DARE YOU= If you dare a person to do something difficult, you challenge them to do it, they have to prove they have the courage to do it.

CAUSE= (coll.) Because.

WE TEND TO...= We often...

PRETTY WELL EVERYTHING= Most things.

AMUSING= Funny.

NO BIG DEAL= That's not important, it's not a bad thing.

THAT WOULD BEEN ALL BE HAPPENING= This is absolutely incorrect grammar and it's not intentional, she just made a mistake when speaking and got it all messed up (it happens sometimes).

I'LL LEAVE IT UP TO YOU= You can decide if you want to do it or not.

THE BALL IS IN YOUR COURT= I said or did something and now you have to decide how you're going to react.

IF YOU WERE TO PEE IN MY BED= If you were supposed to pee in my bed.

TO TURN FOR HELP= To go and ask for help.

AS A SIDE NOTE= We use this phrase when we want to introduce in a conversation something that is different from the main topic but related with it in some way.

END UP + -ING= If you end up doing something, you do it after a usually long process, as a result of all the previous actions. "We did end up paying" = After all the conversation and after I peed on her bed, in the end we had to pay for half the mattress.

MATTRESS= The soft thing you use on a bed to sleep on.

 
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