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Webcam 101 for seniors
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When I'm old, I want to be like them.

A cute old couple spied in the intimacy of their home.

- Now, look at the monkey.
- Did I- did it capture? Why did it- I see it didn't take it. I put it on capture.
- That's a ++++ monkey.
- ++++. Mmm.
- I don't think- I don't think you have...
- Oh, here, no, do it again. What did just say here? Take a photo snapshot. Ok.
- *yawns* Hello my darling, hello my baby, hello my gal, don't go. [and some nonsense gibberish singing]
- Ha, ha. ++++
- I'm so sad. I'm so sad! Look at that, those, all those wrinkles up there and, the grats in my head. I can make the- I can give ++++...
- It says, "take a series of photos". I was doing- I don't know. And you can email this to selected media, but why it can't- why- why won't it take a picture? Take photo!
- I don't know dear. *belches*. Pardon me.
- I did it before by accident.
- You're like me, you do more things by accident than most people do on purpose.
- Display. You see, this is the one I took by mistake. Oh dear, ++++.
- How did you [do] that?
- I don't know, I'm trying to do it for you.
- See how pretty your hair? Do you know what I said?
- I don't know.
- How pretty your hair is.
- I don't know where you are, honey.
- Just drop your dress a little bit, you'll see your boobies.
- Oh, come on, stop.
- Ha ha, oooh.
- Spare me!
- Ooh, ooh, ooh.
- Oh, I don't know. Come on. I don't know how to do it. I mean, I just got to learn too many things, you know, she's trying to teach me so much. Ah, let's get the ++++. Ah, warning, "You must stop recording before trying to close cyberlink". Oh gee! But I don't know- I don't know what I'm recording. It sucks!
- Maybe just recording us.
- Oh, gee!
- You have lines in your forehead too.
- Mmhumm. I'll have more if I don't know how to s- I don't know how to do this.
- All you do, whatever you, you do fine.
- Mmhumm.
- You'll learn. Yeah, you'll learn. Take time. ++++
- Honey, I don't know what to do.

CAPTURE= To capture a photo while you are playing a video or watching your recording on cam is to get an instant photo from the video. If you “put it on capture”, you select the capture option. The correct expression here would be “I clicked on capture”, since “capture” is not a mode, it is an action.

GAL= (coll.) Girl.

GIBBERISH= Nonsense talk, something that someone says but it makes no sense, it’s impossible to understand or it has no meaning. Here, the old man is just making sounds, but they’re not real words.

WRINKLES= Lines that old people get on their face.

GRATS= I suppose he means “white hair”, probably. All I can understand is “grats” or maybe “grads” or something. Not a word I know. Maybe some kind of local American word?

A SERIES= /ə sɪərɪəs/ Notice that the word “series” is singular, even if it ends in –S.

MEDIA= The media (or mass media) is the television, newspapers, radio or any system of broadcasting news and information. In this context it refers more specifically to widespread broadcasting services on the Internet where you can post your video to make it public, for example YouTube.

BELCH= (n. or v.) That’s the sound you make when you expel air coming from your stomach out through your mouth.

PARDON ME= That’s the polite thing to say when you make a bodily sound and you want to say you’re sorry about it (even if you’re not really too sorry).

BY ACCIDENT= Unintentionally. When you do something by accident it just happened, but you didn’t want to do it or didn’t mean to do it, that was not your intention.

ON PURPOSE= The opposite of “by accident”. When you do something “on purpose”, you wanted to do it.

BY MISTAKE= Similar to “by accident”. It means that you wanted to do something, but you did something different by mistake, the result was different from what you wanted.

BOOBIES= (coll.) An almost childish way to refer to a woman’s breasts.

SPARE ME= Leave me alone, stop bothering me, shut up; don’t make me suffer, don’t hurt me.

OH GEE!= (esp. AmE) A very common exclamantion.

LINES= wrinkles.

WHATEVER YOU DO= It doesn’t matter what you do..., everything you do.

HONEY= /hʌnɪ/ A nice and loving way to address somebody you love (for example a husband to his wife or a mother to her son).

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