GOTTA= I’ve got to, I must (or you've got to)

SPOOF= Make a parody

NEW MOON= The name of the second film in the Twilight Saga film series, about the romance between a young girl, Bella, and a cute and good vampire.

YO= (coll. esp. black AmE) It’s a very popular greeting in some environments, especially rappers, black youngsters and now, anyone who wants so sound really cool, even in the UK. But in hip-hop songs we often hear this “yo!” starting a sentence and meaning nothing, just like saying “hey!”.

I GOT= (esp. AmE) I’ve got, I have.

WIT’= (black AmE) With.
In black AmE pronunciation it is common to use the sound /t/ instead of /θ/, and  /d/ instead of /ð/.

PLOT= The pattern of events in a story.

TEENAGE= related to a teenager (a person between 13 and 19 years old)

ANGSTY= (coll. AmE) Feeling angst (anxious and probably also depressed)

OVERLOAD= An excessive burden. A “burden” is something very heavy, in the case, figuratively, it refers to how Bella feels about her new situation and all the problems about being in a romance with a vampire.

VAMPIRE= /vəmpaɪə*/ A person who is dead… but not quite, and walks the earth trying to suck people’s blood (out of their necks, if possible) because that’s what they live on. They used to sleep in a coffin during the day and suck blood during the night and also be terribly scared of crosses and garlic. But lately they have overcome their fear to both things (maybe modern psychology had something to do with it) though some of them still retain their ability to turn into a bat and fly away whenever needed. Since they’re already dead, the only way you can kill them is by driving a stake through their chest right into their hearts, but since that’s so disgusting, not many people even think about trying that anymore, we all know how hard to remove a blood stain can be. Oh yea, most important, they have two big protruding front teeth, usually retractable, whose main purpose is to suck blood by biting your neck with them (part of their bat nature), but also used very often just to show off and show you how much of a vampire they are (kind of, look at my teeth, they’re longer than yours). They used to be bad bad boys, but in modern trend, if you have a bunch of vampires in a film, chances are at least part of them are nice good guys, usually very attractive and caring (sort of “excuse me madam, I’m really sorry about this but if you don’t mind I’ll try to hurt you as little as possible while feeding myself on your delicate precious blood... if you don’t mind, of course. And then I’ll protect you against that horrible neighbour of yours who’s always harassing you, just to prove how grateful I am”). By the way, they’ve always lived in Eastern Europe, but recently a massive migration to the United States have been detected.

GLOW= If something glows, it shines (without a flame), brightly and steadily, often in a reddish colour, like incandescent metal, for example.

QUASI-EMO= The prefix “quasi” (a Latin word) means “almost”, and “emo” (short for “emotional”) is a member of urban tribe, a bit similar to “gothics”, with pale skins, black eye-liner and usually an extremely straight dark hair that falls over their right eye and protects them from the cruelties of this terrible world (see picture), although in this case it could simply mean “emotional” (?). Here, the word “quasi-emo” is an adjective, so a “quasi-emo hit” means a successful movie that feels almost emo /i:məʊ/.

ED= Edward, the hero of this movie, a handsome vampire of a British origin who still retains all the good manners of a perfect British gentleman, and his standard British accent to go with it.

ROMANCE= Here it is used as a verb, so it means to date, to go out with.

THE UNDEAD= Somebody who is “un-dead” is not dead, so they’re alive... but not here, because a vampire is something in between. We can use “THE + ADJECTIVE” to refer to the group of all the people having that quality, so in this case “the undead” is “the vampires”.

HE WENT ALL DITCH-DITCH ON ME= Ok, help me decipher this new expression. If you go X on somebody, you behave in an X way with them or you become an X when you are with them or you turn into an X for them. If I ditch you, I stand you up (I’m your boyfriend and I just leave you). So put both ideas together after watching the film, and trying to work out what JamesatWar means with this sentence. And then tell me.

I’M CONFUSED= I can’t think clearly, I don’t know what to do.

MIFFED= a bit annoyed or confused or bewildered or all three things at the same time.

CLIFF= That very thing you can see on the video when he says this word.

DAS= (black AmE). That’s.
As we said earlier, in black AmE it is common to change the sounds /d/ and /ð/ 

YA’LL= (southern AmE) You all, you guys (the plural form of “you”).

SELF-IMMOLATE= Kill myself for a higher purpose (not like suicide, which has the only purpose of killing yourself).

VOLTURI= A secret society of influential vampires, some way between masonry and mafia turned into a kind of underground UN (United Nations) that rules the international vampire community. And they’re not very nice at all.

I’LL STEP OUTSIDE IN THE DAY= Well, if you have seen the movie you’ll probably understand this, if you haven’t, there’s no point in explaining it. But I’ll explain it anyway :) When Ed went to Italy to see the volturi and ask them a very personal favour about Bella, he decided, for some reason I can’t remember anymore, to self-immolate in order to save Bella’s life, I think. And though Ed could perfectly live in daylight in America, again for some reason I can’t remember either, Italian sunshine was deadly for him, so by stepping outside in daylight he would have died, but he didn’t because Bella cried or something and I can’t remember anything but he didn’t die and they went back to the States (have I really seen the movie? I’m starting to doubt it).

LOVESICK= Sick of love. Suffering because I am in love. Very very much in love.

YOU CAN SUCK ON THAT!= (coll.) Take that!, Beat that!, You’re impressed, eh?
This expression is used when you just proved that you are better than the person you’re talking to. So it basically means “See what I did/am? I’m so much better than you”.

I AM SWORN= I have made a solemn promise.

HOTTER= (coll.) More attractive.

SAVING BELLA FROM THE WATER= I have a vague memory of Bella jumping off a cliff into the sea for some reason (maybe because Ed left her and she was desperate, I guess, she was soooo emo). And suddenly, out of the blue, Ed appeared (after a long time, too long I must say) and saved her, so she didn’t die. But I’m not sure if that happened for real or it was one of the many crazy dreams Eva often had about Ed. The perfect wet dream, I must say (sorry about the joke, it was impossible to resist :)

CUZ= (coll.) Because.

NEARLY DROWNED= Almost died under water.

ON THE REBOUND= The period of time immediately after a relationship between a couple is terminated, during which either of the people in the former couple begins a new relationship with someone else.

HOOK UP WIT’= If you hook up with somebody you go out with them, you date them, you have a romantic relationship with them.

SINCE= Because.

THEM= (coll. or dialectal) Those.

HERE WE GO= Similar to “come on!” or “look what I’m going to do” or “I’ll try” or many other things. But in this particular case, it means...... nothing.

I DUNNO= (coll.) I don’t know.

ECLIPSE= Another film from the Twilight Saga.

DAWN= /dɔ:n/ The moment when the day begins. When the dawn breaks, it starts (it breaks the darkness of the night).

RIFFIN= (coll.) To complain, often overreacting.

CHICKS= (coll.) Girls.

GLOOM= Melancholy.

THE FANS BE WATCHIN’= (black AmE) The fans are watching.
WE BE= (black AmE) We are.